Ok, so one day i came across the phrase "J.K. Livin: the J is for just, the k is for keep." and thought for one literal second, "WTF", and then swiftly went back to more important things like E-lurking and feeding my virtual pets. While discussing important things with a friend, aka making fun of other people drowning in their own sadness, it hit me that i should google "J.K. Livin" Lo and behold, i hit the fucking jackpot. If one were so inclined to visit http://www.jklivinstore.com/default one would not only be treated to a group photo including none other than Matthew McConaughey, but by scrolling down you just might discover the best mission statement ever:
"j.k. livin is not a rulebook, it’s a lifestyle, and because everyone can apply it differently, we decided to start the j.k. livin family, so you too, can apply j.k. livin to your own life, in your own way."
Um, holy awesome! Could life be this awesome? Did someone seriously write the above and genuinely believe that shit? Of course they do! This is America, where dreams of the rich constantly succeed at the expense of good sense and prime cocaine. Probing further into the area labeled "Hard Goods" (editor's note: "That's what she said!"), I discovered that they have fucking koozie's! I'm in! The koozie's even have their own bullshit description, with the best line of all,
"This design is an ode to America's birthday and comes in a four pack because it's more fun drinkin' with friends."
Amen, J.K. Livin. A-Fucking-men.
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